The apps are pretty cool when you think about it. They give you access to so many more people than https://getbride.org/pt/mulheres-holandesas-quentes/ you’d ordinarily meet. Of course this means more work/screening/messaging; but it’s mostly worth it. Lastly here, for what it’s worth, I really liked Matthew Hussey’s book. The title (and cover) are super cheesy so maybe rip the cover off or pretend you’re in high school and make a book cover, but read it – it’s packed with a lot of smart info.
Handling Rejection.
Don’t take it personally. Of course you can be annoyed – we’re only human. But realize it literally has nothing to do with you. Someone might stop talking to you but maybe they just deleted the app. Or started dating someone exclusively. You really don’t know. I think the thing about the apps is that you get exposed to SO MANY PEOPLE. Which as I mentioned above, is pretty cool when you think about it. You meet so many more people than you ever would but will also wind up being rejected by so many people, too! It’s okay.
(I’d definitely recommend listening to the Jared Freid episode of our podcast – he talks about this in a way that is both hilarious and smart.)
Be a little ruthless, especially when it comes to indifference.
This is something I wish I was better at when I was younger. My best friend always says that people show you who they are if you pay attention. If a guy wants to get to know you better, he’ll generally make a ount of effort to make a plan or see you again.
I’ve been the doormat a bunch of times and trust me from SO MUCH EXPERIENCE when I was younger: even though romantic comedies might tell us otherwise, the doormat never finishes first and it does not pay to be persistent and/or put up with bad behavior, even if the bad behavior is just indifference. (You deserve better than indifference… write that down on a post-it if you need to. )
Here’s an insignificant but still teachable moment:
I got ghosted last week. The guy and I had been messaging for a while on Hinge earlier and he dropped off. I was pleasantly surprised when maybe a month or so later he resurfaced… in my DMs. I was so impressed that he took the time to track me down (NOT HARD, this is something that took him two seconds but we always give men so much credit for something so easy) and we made plans to hang out on Friday night. Usually, I don’t make plans on Fridays but it was my only free night.
I sent a note on Thursday and asked him if we were still on and he didn’t respond. (The annoying but also awesome thing about DMs are that I could see that he’d seen it, but hadn’t bothered to respond) Is this bad behavior? No, not really? It’s bad manners, but it’s more about indifference, which is usually a red flag. And on that note I will leave you with this Mark Manson piece – it’s the best and breaks things downs o simply.
The single girl in the city caricature, if you will. The reality is that there are ups and downs, and lots of them! I give you this background so that you can understand – it didn’t happen overnight, and of course there are times where I am like “WHAT THE H*LL THIS TOTALLY SUCKS.” But honestly, mostly yes, I am very positive. So today we will talk about that.
I also like The League but it’s a little slow moving. Also at one point they told me I had gone through everyone in New York and started giving me people in Philly. LOL. So I deleted it.
I personally only use one app at a time. Otherwise if feels like a job. (It’s probably harder as a social media person – responding to dating app messages can feel like responding to DM’s – oof.)
